there's a lot going on these days. someone new and very exciting is in my life now and while i'm just absolutely thrilled, i am also somewhat scared. not scared in the creeped out, negative sense...but in the butterflies-in-the-gut way, where it's worrisome to know that by committing to this person, i am in fact making myself vulnerable again. but i know this guy is worth it. everything in the pit of my stomach is telling me so.

so, i guess i should explain all this a little more. i first met mike a few weeks ago, and we've been inseparable ever since. we started talking about 3 or 4 months before that, but never actually met. we did almost collide into each other in the parking lot at starbucks back then though, which was just plain weird. i distinctly remember that, too...thinking that maybe because our cars almost ran into each other, that we were meant to meet face to face eventually. it's weird how stuff like that happens. anyway. i digress...

he's absolutely wonderful. we think alike. we laugh at the same things and usually at the same time. we both sing in the car. he loves to talk and can hold a conversation even better than i can (which is just plain cool). he's smart and really passionate about things and hobbies he's interested in. he's a counselor for a living, so he's an excellent listener and extremely intuitive. he's a gentleman who treats me better than i think any other boy i've dated. he takes me on really fun and interesting dates and is constantly introducing me to new enviroments that i enjoy. he makes me laugh those really hearty, belly-aching laughs where my face starts to hurt...and he does that ALL the time. he loves to watch and talk about movies as much as i do. he has a HUGE t.v., so it makes doing this more fun. he's tall and has blue eyes that look directly at me when i talk. he's says very sweet things at just the right moments and means them. he's more honest and open than most people and we can talk about any and every thing, effortlessly. i like his friends. his friends like me. he's a complete, fully capable, and stable man who has his head on his shoulders. he writes really well. he stays up late with me even though he has to work the next morning. he likes to cook (and does it well). he's got a child-like exuberance that matches mine. he balances goofiness and seriousness perfectly. he appreciates and notices the small and simple things, as much as he does the major and complicated things. he makes me smile more than anyone has in a really, really long time.

so, yeah. i'm happy.

and i've been thinking about it all a lot. because after what i've been through, i've made the conscious promise to myself to change my old patterns and not get sucked into something that, ultimately, is unhealthy for me. and i've been battling with the whole idea of being serious with someone again, and the potential for heartbreak and complications that comes along with it. i've talked about it with mike. we've both admitted that we're somewhat shocked and equally scared by all this and how well we get along. but i've decided that no matter what, in order to really get something valuable from this experience, i have to let go of some of that fear and worry and just have faith that something can work here. it's just really hard trying to strike a balance between being smart about things and not getting carried away, and still allowing myself the natural desire to get swept up in the beginning. so, i'm working on that. but all in all, i'm just so excited. and like with every new person you meet who contributes something unique to your life, i've never really felt like this before...

it's been one of those days where i seem to have a million thoughts in my head and i'm just so distracted by all of them that i feel really exhausted. a lot is going on this week, and in my life in general it seems, and i'm in the process of processing it all. it's all good, so don't fret.

first off, things with VNG are going swimmingly. the fact that i used the word swimmingly to describe my dating situation should tell you something right there. in fact, i should probably add another 'very' before his name--making him VVNG--because the more time we spend together, the more he knocks my socks off. and i don't even wear socks in the summertime.

so, i guess you could say we're an item now. i mean, we're offically dating in that "this-is-the-beginning-so-let's-not-freak-out-but-i-really-like-you" kind of way. point is, it's legit. i know where i stand with this guy because we talk about it and we're now seeing each other and talking on a very regular basis. all this is very cool, because he is very cool and he makes me feel really cool. basically, we each like how we feel when in the other's presence. can you tell this dude makes me completely inarticulate? i guess that's a good sign. tomorrow, we're headed to hershey park in the afternoon for some mid-week rollercoaster fun which i'm really looking forward to. oh, how exciting everything is in the beginning...

speaking of exciting news! after yet another successful attempt at changing my work schedule this week, i am now off on wednesday so i can hang out with happy john for his 30th birthday. he called me today wanting to make last minute plans to party it up in DC for the day, and luckily i found someone to cover my shift. it was funny, because he was almost desperate to get together and do something, because he thought that would be the only time to celebrate his big day. what he doesn't know though, is that his girlfriend and i have been planning his surprise party for a month now! so yeah, that party is this sunday and i'm fully expecting him to show up and freak when he sees that his friends drove to delaware to celebrate him. hee hee. i love surprises!

on a completely random note, i am hooked on the surreal life on vh1. why, i have no clue because the "celebrities" are washed-up has-beens who behave ridiculously. but none the less, it has become a new guilty pleasure. we all need them, so shut it.

i am going to become a learning coach at work pretty soon. this means i will take a 4 hour class to become certified to train new starbucks employees. i guess it's really not all that big of a deal considering i pretty much do this anyway since we are ALWAYS training newbies, but i just think it will look good and also be a lot of fun. i love helping out and meeting fresh faced starbuckians. they always come in looking so bewildered and overwhelmed, and i like to think i can ease their anxiety a bit. it's a lot to learn, but it's a hell of a lot easier if you have someone on your side to coach you through it...

that be it for now. why is my head still spinning with thoughts? yeah, ok. it might have something to do with the VVNG. i'm not gonna lie.

wow, this is kind of interesting...and just a tad bit crazy. lani and mandie, keep your eyes open for this lady...

my horoscope for yesterday, 8/10:

Today you are likely to find yourself in just the right place at the right time to meet the right person. You're overdue for a lucky break - and are probably unlikely to expect it. You may start the day in a restless and frustrated state of mind, Erin, but whatever happens is going to catapult you out of it. Be prepared - this transition may involve vast changes in your life, if not immediately, in the long run.

and my horoscope for today, 8/11:

When it comes to issues regarding love and romance, you may find that you are caught in a bit of a pickle, Erin. There is a call for greater commitment at this time. You may be unsure as to how to respond to this request. It could be that you are hesitant to give up the sense of freedom that you hold so dear. Recognize the importance of a close connection with one other person. Give yourself the opportunity to experience this kind of intense relationship on a more permanent basis.

i don't know, maybe it's me but i find this interesting. last night was date #2 with Very Nice Guy (or VNG, as he will now be referred to) and everything i'm feeling kinda seems to correlate with the predictions above. it's really funny when that happens. makes it seem like god is winking at me or something (or that maybe those crazy msn astrologers are just really good at their job). hmmmm.

to start things off, i should announce that yesterday was my half-birthday. i'm sure most people don't pay attention to that sort of thing, but it's just something that i always remember. and it makes me feel old. sadly.

the weekend was fun. saturday i went on a date with a very nice guy, which is always cool. it was yet another one of those deals where we met up early, thinking we'd grab a late lunch, and then wound up hanging out all evening. i met some of his friends too, which was kind of unexpected yet turned out well. you can learn a lot about someone from his friends, i think. there was plenty of laughter happening, and that's always a plus. anyway, i had a nice time and i know he did. he called me yesterday just to say that. :)

i finally bought the usher CD today. it's spinning right now and i think i like it. the lady at best buy told me she wore her copy out, so i guess that's promising.

oh, and i also went to dairy queen and tried that new brownie batter sundae thing that i've seen advertised on t.v. lately. oh my god, it's just ridiculous. i couldn't even finish mine it was so sweet and gooey. i mean, really. those type of desserts shouldn't be legal. they are lethal and just plain decadent. which is precisely why i bought one. everyone knows i can't resist that crap.

my copy of "the big lebowski" arrived in the mail today! oh man, how i love that movie. i was watching john goodman on inside the actors studio last night and he was talking about it. they highlighted the eulogy scene from the end where donny's ashes get blown all over the dude's face. in a word: classic. i've decided i need to see more coen brothers movies.

i have nothing else to say, but i wish i did. i feel like i do, but nothing's coming to me. wait, no...here's something.

i'm hungry.

since i am off to work in about 45 minutes, i figured i'd post this starbucks related item. yes, i stole it from my former co-worker mackenzie's journal. (yes, i was skimming through your old entries mac, and i just couldn't resist! you're so funny!) anyway, here it is. and it's SO true.

How Not To Piss Off Your Barista, aka How To Not Get Spit In Your Latte
1. Do NOT walk up to them with your cellphone pressed to your ear, then act like THEY are interrupting your conversation.
2. Do NOT throw your money at them like they are diseased.
3. Do NOT drop all your change on the counter and make them pick up each coin one by one.
4. Do not order a drink, then keep adding on customizations to it after they have already called and recalled it more than once. Know before you order, even if that means saying "Hold on a second. I'm not sure yet." (Trust me, *that* we don't mind)
5. Do NOT act like you know more about the menu than they do.
6. Do not do all of the above, and then not tip :)

Category I - The Hub

You're a 'people person'. Networking runs in your blood. Consequently, you can move through most social circles with ease.

What Type of Social Entity are You?

i have been mulling over the idea of 'writing prompts' lately, which are these categories/topics/questions/thought-provoking ideas that are used to ignite a writer's imagination. i came across the imagination prompt generator and the writer's digest prompts recently and i've decided to use them as tools to keep me motivated. for longer than i can remember, writing has been very important to me...and also something that comes quite easily. on the average day, if i'm left alone for a while, i can tap into whatever it is that i'm feeling and put it into words effortlessly. the problem is, that half the time i get lazy and instead of writing, i just become introspective and take a nap. the truth is, if anyone wants to be considered a writer, they have to write every day, all the time...and whenever the urge strikes. i've realized that if i want to hone my skills or develop any sort of credibility as a writer, i need to do it more--bottom line. and i feel like now that i have more time on my hands and this urge (lately) to get out what's simmering inside my head, that it's time to take the bull by the horns. i'm tired of not doing what i love most because i'm just so overwhelmed by all there is to write about. so i'm hoping these prompts will help. i don't plan on using them every day, but we'll see.

tonight's prompt: what is changing in your life right now?
the word 'change' is sort of a sore subject with me these days. as someone who's always prided herself in being able to embrace change and even to welcome it on occasion, i find myself stuck in a rut now...or atleast what feels like a rut. the best way to describe it is to say that it feels like i'm running on a treadmill; at times it feels like i'm moving forward and i'm getting just as exhausted, but yet i'm no further along on the course. i'm sure that if i were to look at my life from an aerial view, it would seem like i was indeed progressing--it just doesn't seem like it now because i'm here, in the thicke of it, and have no perspective. but more often than not, i feel very stagnant...like i'm getting up every morning with no real purpose. and that just sucks, 9 days out of 10.

i feel like i need some drastic change in my life to sort of steer me toward something that really inspires and excites me. given the fact that i've been through quite an emotional rollercoaster in the last several months, i feel i have changed my outlook on a lot of things...including both romantic and platonic relationships. i feel like i have better friends now than i've ever had before and that i am, in turn, a better friend back. so in terms of relationships, my ideals are pretty solidified. but i need a goal, a finish line to run toward and i just can't seem to find it. i'm thinking about maybe going back to school eventually to pursue either english or creative writing further and just to get me back in the swing of things. but i don't want to get stuck there either and become this perpetual student.

my brother just took a huge leap by quitting his job, enrolling in grad school, and moving to texas and i really admire him. it's weird because we are both brave but in different ways; he's made all these huge life changes ever since he left home for college, like driving cross country and travelling all over. i've stayed close to home but don't shy away from death defying things like jumping out of a plane. why am i not afraid of that...but i'm afraid to take a leap toward my future? i think what it comes down to is that i would take that necessary leap, but i just don't know which metaphorical cliff to jump from. once i find it, i'm going to take a chance.

i want to meet someone. i want to meet someone who is a catalyst and who revitalizes the part of me that i know is still there. i want to experience new things and go to new places and listen to new music and jump out of more planes. i want to live and i want to change and evolve as a person. i want to remain this very open person...open to possibility and viewpoints and lifestyle changes. i want to look back on this journal entry or pictures of myself during this time and know that i've changed for the better since then.