i don't know where to begin.

i've been gone for over a week and my head is quite stuffy from a combination of exhaustion, a lingering cold, and overwhelming amounts of new information being thrusted at me. today was my first day at montessori, and as with any new job, it's a bit much at first. the kids don't show up until sept. 7th, but just trying to learn every faculty member's name is a real chore.

anyway, south carolina was HOT. infact, too hot to be discussed with any rationality. i spent the majority of the week complaining about it, and longing to be anywhere with an air-conditioning unit. it was the kind of heat/humidity that left you panting and covered in sweat after walking 10 feet to your car. overall, we didn't think that myrtle beach was as fun as ocean city. there just wasn't much to do other than eat, and due to my incessent stomach problems, i really didn't even want to do that. everything was just mediocre--unfortunately something we drove 8 hours to find out. well actually, there was one distinct highlight of the trip now that i think about it and it can be reduced to 2 words: crazy mouse. it's this insane amusement park ride that's a combination of the wild mouse and the tilt-o-whirl. imagine a rail-less rollercoaster with a spinning cart. it's nuts, i'm telling you. we took a picture before we got on it, so have a look. and yes, i cut my hair.

so there's that. the summer is now officially over. i'm starting a regular work schedule and i'm trying to organize my time like a mad woman. i guess being a teacher does that to you. i went out today after school (god, that sounds weird) and bought some food to pack for lunch. and not 30 minutes ago, i packed a brown bag lunch for the first time since high school. that was beyond strange, but also kinda fun. i sort of like compartmentalizing things into little plastic baggies and having them to look forward to the next day. go ahead, call me a dork.

i'm adjusting to this new experience day by day. i'm not sure what to make of it yet because it's still too foreign to me. i'm afraid i'm thinking too far ahead and anticipating the little things that i might not like instead of focusing on what i probably will. in case you missed the memo, i do that sort of thing.

my mind is wandering at the moment. i am kind of bored with all this free time on my hands. i've done all things i needed to do to prepare for my new job. speaking of which, i just found out that i will have my own classroom, rather than floating around to various classrooms each day. a full-time teacher's assistant position opened up in one of the primary classes, so they called me. i'm pretty excited about this because my schedule will me more predictable and i'll be able to form stronger relationships with the kids in one class, rather than being torn between many. it's sort of a quality over quantity type of situation. i'll be working with ages 3 to 6, which is nice. it will be fun to work with the little ones, focusing on the fundamentals of learning rather than academics. i met with the teacher i'm assigned to last friday and she's really nice; it seems like i can learn a lot from her and this experience. on monday, i stopped to drop off some paperwork and i checked out the art room. it took me less than 5 seconds to realize i want to work in that room eventually. i met the art teacher too; she looks like she's 15. everyone i've met so far is beyond gracious. it astounds me the level of positivity and friendliness at this school. atleast i know i'll be in a sincere place where people really care about their jobs...

i should start packing for my trip to myrtle beach next week. but i'll just procrastinate as usual. it won't take that long anyway. this vacation marks the end of my summer, so i'm going to make the most of it. i start work the monday after i come back. i'm anticipating a shift in lifestyle already. now that i have a regular 8-5 schedule, i have to plan for things like lunch. i know that sounds stupid, but it's something i'll need to think about. with my old coffee schedule, i never had to worry about bringing anything other than cereal to work because i worked early mornings. and the milk and muffins were always free. now i have to make a concerted effort to pack a lunch of some sort the night before. and i also don't have a uniform anymore so clothes are an issue. as much as i'm looking forward to wearing different things every day and not wreaking of espresso, i will have to make sure i'm prepared. i'm sure to most of you this seems mundane, but i'm coming from 2 years at a totally different type of job. so there will be a small adjustment period.

it will be strange being on a school schedule again. granted, this time i will be in-charge and i won't have homework or projects to do, but instead i'll have meetings, workshops, and parent/teacher nights. i'll be responsible for children and will have to establish relationships with parents. i think it will take a while to pick up on everything (a lot of it will come from trial and error) but knowing i'll be surrounded by chalk and paste and construction paper again is interesting. i never thought i'd be back in that sort of environment.

the typical montessori child comes from a very affluent and privileged household. most of them have nannies, and quite a few have parents with very prestigious jobs. there are a lot of doctors, lawyers, and business leaders among the parents, so it should be interesting to see what type of children they cultivate. kids are kids, no matter what and they need the same things, but i'm already guessing these particular kids are used to a certain way of life. we'll see how i react to it.

suddenly, i feel more grown up. it's weird when you realize that.

this one's for my favorite south african friend. and i have so many of those.

1. LIVING ARRANGEMENT? i live at home with my mom and sister, but spend weekends at mike's apartment. i'm kind of in-between, really.

2. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW? a novel called "spilling clarence", by anne ursu. you can read the story synopsis here.

3. WHAT'S ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? i don't have a mouse pad, actually. i have a finger pad. that's how we laptop people do it.

4. FAVORITE BOARD GAME? balderdash, although no one will ever play it with me. i also really like old-skool games like sorry, clue, and taboo!

5. FAVORITE MAGAZINES? i'm not much of a magazine reader anymore. i suppose that's because most of the ones i see are filled with nothing but tabloid fodder that i couldn't care less about. i used to subscribe to movie magazines just to keep up with the industry and the films being released. premiere is pretty decent.

6. BABIES? everyone knows i love babies and want like a thousand of them. if you don't pick up on that right away, you must be quite dense.

7. FAVORITE SOUND? i love it when babies sneeze. it's honestly one of the cutest things you'll ever hear. and there aren't many sounds that are cute are there?

8. WORST FEELING IN THE WORLD? helplessness.

9. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU THINK OF WHEN YOU WAKE UP IN THE MORNING? what do i have to look forward to today?

10. FAVORITE COLOUR? blue. any shade. you pick.

11. HOW MANY RINGS BEFORE YOU ANSWER THE PHONE? i hate answering the phone. i usually wait for someone else to do it.

12. FUTURE CHILD'S NAME(S) well, considering my answer to #6, it's suffice to say i have plenty of names picked out. my favorites change monthly. let's just leave it at that.

13. WHAT IS MOST IMPORTANT IN LIFE? knowing what is most important in life.

14. FAVORITE FOOD? mozzerella sticks. some people like kegs of beer; i like kegs of cheese sticks.

15. CHOCOLATE OR VANILLA? a little bit of both...maybe swirled together...with some sprinkles...and a cherry...

16. DO YOU LIKE TO DRIVE FAST? not particularly. but i really hate driving slow.

17. DO YOU SLEEP WITH A STUFFED ANIMAL? absolutely not. i hate those dust collectors.

18. STORMS--COOL OR SCARY? pretty cool, i guess. unless i'm driving in one, which is so not cool.

19. WHAT TYPE WAS YOUR FIRST CAR? black 1992 honda civic. it made it through college. i was proud.

20. IF YOU COULD MEET ONE PERSON DEAD OR ALIVE WHO WOULD IT BE? alanis morissette. this has been explained before.

21. FAVORITE ALCOHOLIC BEVERAGE? kaluhua and cream. everybody knows that.

22. WHAT IS YOUR ZODIAC SIGN? i'm an aquarium.

23. DO YOU EAT THE STEMS OF BROCCOLI? well, i guess i'd actually have to enjoy eating brocolli at all, now wouldn't i? and i don't...so, no.

24. IF YOU COULD HAVE ONE JOB IN THE WORLD WHAT WOULD IT BE? i'd like to have a job where i get to wear sequins everyday. so, i don't know....stripper?

25. IF YOU DYED YOUR HAIR, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU PICK? i've thought about this before and considering my hair is black, i think electric blue streaks would look cool. but i'm too much of a wuss to do it permanently.

26. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN LOVE? uh duh! i think so!

27. IS THE GLASS HALF EMPTY OR HALF FULL? it depends on if i'm drinking from it. because if i am, then it's always half empty. what? i get thirsty.

28. FAVORITE MOVIES: oh god, i dread this question every time. instead of listing them, i'll just type the first one that pops into my head. american beauty. there, satisfied?

29. DO YOU TYPE WITH YOUR FINGERS ON THE RIGHT KEYS? rarely.

30. WHAT'S UNDER YOUR BED? plastic bags filled with things that aren't mine. figure that one out.

32. FAVORITE SPORT TO WATCH? baseball and beach volleyball. notice these are summer sports. did i mention i hate anything involving winter?

33. SAY ONE NICE THING ABOUT THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS. patrick is so witty and clever. he makes me laugh so hard sometimes, i fear losing control of my bladder.

why am i just *now* finding out about david gray's new studio album?! it's called life in slow motion and is being released on september 13th. i can't believe i didn't know about it! i should also mention that he's touring in the US this year...something i don't recall him ever doing before. i am ECSTATIC, being that he's my number one most favorite singer of all-time. i own every single album and i've memorized every single song; i'm a total loon over this guy. will anyone go to the show with me? there's one in washington d.c. and one in philly. i simply must see my favorite singer live. it would be wrong not to.

pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease?

with all this time off, i'm making a concerted effort to use my time wisely. most of today was spent throwing things away--a task that always makes me feel great. i don't think i can reiterate this enough: i love getting rid of STUFF. STUFF is the stuff (heh, i'm so funny) that sits around on the average person's desk, in their closet, or in my case, in rarely interrupted piles on the floor. you stare at it for months, maybe even years, until you finally realize it's time to part. i threw away several old spiral notebooks from college, with pages of notes from subjects i had almost forgotten i studied. it was strange because i know at one point, those notes were really important to me...mostly because they were proof that i worked hard. i distinctly remember not wanting to toss them after graduation, thinking i would want to peruse them later and reminisce about school. but alas, i was wrong. i admit it was kind of sad throwing them away, getting rid of the tangible evidence of my education, but i knew i would never need them. it was fun coming across random notes from john, scribbled in the margins. he used to grab whatever notebook i had and write whatever spontaneous thought popped in head in the middle of class. sometimes it annoyed me. most of the time, i liked it.

i'm also trying to finish up things i've started. for one, i'm determined to finish decorating this purse i bought from the alanis morissette website. it was sorta plain, so i'm spicing it up with a little beading and patchwork. i even glued in a small patch of velco so i can close it. in case you didn't know, i can be quite crafty when i try.

my sister and i went to the new greetings and readings that just opened here. we spent over an hour there and once again i found myself totally overwhelmed by the fiction section. i love the smell and look of fresh, new books. i swear i could explore those aisles for days, reading the bookjackets, looking at the coverart. does anyone else get this excited about books? i'm sure some of you do. admit it.

anyway, i've realized there is a definite pattern to what initally attracts me to a book. cover design really matters. i tend to pick up more modern, stylized books with kind of quirky cover pictures or plot summaries. if the author's picture on the back isn't flattering, or they look old and unrelatable, i put it back. i usually read the first paragraph, if not the entire first page, until i get a feel for the voice and whether or not i can relate to it. i like unconventional attention to detail. i like controversy. i like candor. i really like uniquely weird plots, stories that only a really imaginative (and maybe very odd) person could write. i have a tendency to choose books written in atypical fonts; i think the way the words look can greatly affect the way they're read. i only buy paperbacks because i like portability and flexibility; i enjoy folding the pages back until the spine of the book has clean white lines in it. it's almost like cracking someone's back. i like books that have chapter titles. i like good titles, in general. i steer away from period books (although i really shouldn't make a habit of that because i read some really good classics in college) and anything too sci-fi. i don't usually choose books about war, or science, or historical events. i like books about relationships, about people growing up. i really enjoy wit, wherever i can find it. if a book appears acerbic, or tongue-in-cheek, or seems to wink at the reader chances are i'm in. and in case you hadn't picked this up from my own writing style, i like short, clipped, and precise sentences. no need for excess when you can just make a clean and vivid point. i've never had the desire to try audio books. i prefer actually touching the pages and being able to re-read something i either didn't understand or really loved. imagine how often i'd have to rewind an audio book. plus, to me books are meant to be read with your own eyes. there's something purely special about it.

so all the browsing led me to a book called hairstyles of the damned. it looks way interesting. i have a feeling john will like it too. now i just have to start reading it. but first i have to finish another book i've started and then get through some others that i've borrowed from people. i realize i need to stop letting the books pile up and get to reading them, so i actually have reason to buy more. i really am trying desperately to break that bad habit. i do the same thing with journals. i buy empty, beautifully blank journals and stack them on my shelves, keeping all my thoughts inside my head. it makes no sense at all. i'm aware of that.

i just want to take a moment to express how much i despise automated phone menus. i spent close to 30 minutes this morning dialing and redialing the same toll-free number because the automated options kept kicking me off the line. i couldn't talk to a human voice no matter what i pushed! ugh, and what's worse, most of the commands on the menu were voice activated, and therefore very sensitive to every little sound. i literally was starting to whimper out of frustration and anger. i hate feeling like i'm going insane over something so completely idiotic. and people say this is an advancement in technology...

ok, i'm done. i feel slightly better.

the day has come. i just finished my last shift at starbucks yorkridge. the coffee clothes and shoes have been thrown away and i will never have to make another frappuccino again. i feel like a free woman. you all have NO idea how long i've waited to write this post. i'm on top of the world right now.

and that's all i have to say about that.

i just found out that my last day at the coffee shop is this friday, rather than next. i really cannot believe it. for some reason i wasn't put on the schedule next week, but i'm not complaining. and i only work a measly 4 hours on friday morning too, so basically i have one foot already out the door. it's weird because when i found out i only have one day left, a brief pang of something washed over me; i can't quite put my finger on the emotion. was it disappointment? uncertainty? sadness? none of those make any sense because i've been bursting at the seams to get out for quite a while now, but there must be a reason. i think it's finally hitting me that change is eminent and that i will be giving up an environment and a job that i have grown so accustomed to.

it seems like yesterday that i was hired. well, that's not entirely true because a lot has happened in 2 years. i guess it's one of those situations where it feels like time both flew by and dragged simultaneously...if that makes any sense. i still remember my first few months there, feeling overwhelmed each and every day, completely convinced i would never be efficient enough. and now, to think i can do my job half-asleep while talking to several people at once just boggles the mind. without sounding cocky (i know, what a lame adjective to attach to a person making lattes), i've become an expert at the job. there really isn't anything i don't grasp about making starbucks drinks or the company policies in general. there's no more room there for me to grow. everything is stale. i can't even imagine why people aspire to climb the ladder into management. i've mastered the bottom rung and can't even stomach the idea of continuing in such a monotonous, narrow-minded profession.

i've learned a lot...and it wasn't all coffee related. i've met some of the most wonderful people, both fellow employees and customers. i've opened up more and i know for certain that i can apply my multi-tasking skills and customer interaction to future jobs. this job has taught me to roll with the punches and i've learned to respect anyone in food service. in fact, i think everyone should work in food service/retail at some point in their life just to gain some appreciation for the employee behind the counter. this job has run me ragged, that's for sure. but more than anything, i know how to talk to people effectively.

i've never been the type to work behind a cubicle. the idea of sitting alone all day, boxed in, without constant interaction and conversation frightens me and i know i'd be terrible at it. i'm sure i have had more memorable chats with the customers i have grown to know and love over the past 2 years here, than most people in the business world ever do. it's been a breath of fresh air in a sense, and now i can say i worked in a coffee house for a short time in my youth...something i had always wanted to experience.

i think friday is cause for celebration. it's been suggested that anyone who leaves be attacked with fully loaded whipcream dispensers as a parting gesture. while that sounds fun and all, i think i'll opt for something else...