leaving for maine in less than 10 hours! it'll be a loooooong car ride, but i'll be back on tuesday with plenty to write about...

check ya later.

i hate hurricanes. i just want to make that abundantly clear.

i was supposed to go to the orioles game with mike, matt, and my dad tonight but of course it was suspended because of the torrential conditions. and now, i can't even drive 10 miles down the road to mike's apartment to watch scrubs because the roads are flooded. grrrrr.

on a different note, something really interesting happened today. i got home from work to find a card addressed to me on the kitchen table. the handwriting looked very familiar and it didn't take me long to figure out that the card was from my high school boyfriend, nick...who i haven't spoken to in 3 years. he and i dated my last 2 years at dulaney, then we went off to the same college--but not as a couple. we remained friends for about a year, but we had a pretty bad falling out due to a girl he began dating. anyway, we never really had an actual fight, but we just sort of stopped talking and started ignoring each other...which is something that always bothered me because i have known nick since i was 5. our families lived in the same court when we were little and we grew up together. i mean, we have pictures of us as kids playing in our yards. in the back of my mind, i always kind of hoped that we would come full circle and be friends again. well, now it seems like that will happen. his note said the following:

dear erin,
for a long time, i've been thinking about the fact that i haven't talked to you in a while. i've realized how incredibly stupid it is to hold a grudge because you never know when your last chance to fix it will be. i feel like an idiot for not calling you earlier. my life has changed quite a bit in the last couple years. i've matured a lot, been forced to grow up in many respects. i want to talk to you. i just want to know how you are doing...call me if you want. i just want to start over. what is in the past is done.

that note really meant a lot to me and i plan on calling him very soon to catch up. it makes me happy to know that i have my old friend back--someone who i have known longer than anyone else. we have history and neither of us ever meant each other harm. it will feel great to move on and get back on track with him. i really respect him for having the heart and the guts to reach back out to me...

hello party people. i know i haven't written in a while. i have been both too lazy and too busy lately. oh, and did i mention too tired? i've been working morning shifts on an average of 4.5 hours of sleep each night and basically become used to feeling completely delirious. i've gotten really good at working through that weird-in-the-head feeling while simultaneously carrying on conversations with people and making drinks. by the way, i think this exercise in sleep deprivation is excellent preparation for motherhood. i'm sure erin would agree.

so...

i played volleyball this past wednesday for the first time in a while. i had SUCH a great time too. mike and a group of his friends/family rent out this huge outdoor sand pit in rosedale public park once a week and play until the sun goes down. i can't even explain how great it felt to be out there again, playing the sport that i love more than any other. it brought back so many memories and made me want to join a rec team. anyone want to join with me? it was really nice being able to totally let go and get wrapped up in the game. playing barefoot and in old clothes, i dove for the ball, kicked some ass, and got sand all over me. oh, and i also seriously messed up my wrist...it was worth it, though! mike and i were on separate teams too, so i was able to completely focus and play somewhat competitively which felt great. i enjoyed it so much that i'm going back again this week. mike's friends told me that next time i don't even have to bring him along since i'm better than he is anyway. ;)

we leave on friday for our trip up north! i just can't wait. mike and i are in the final planning stages now, getting the money organized and ironing out the details. we'll be leaving early, since it will probably take 10-12 hours to get there. i really can't wait to see maine. katie (mike's friend who we're staying with) mentioned something about going hiking, which should be just stunningly gorgeous this time of year. more than anything, i'm just looking forward to getting away from maryland for a little while and the monotony that has become my life. don't we all feel like that sometimes? ugh. anyway...on the way back, we are staying 2 nights in connecticut in this fancy schmancy place. check out the website, if you care. it seems pretty nice and it's on the waterfront! for those who are curious, we're staying in room 12. ain't it pretty? i can't wait to take zillions of pictures. yup, i said zillions.

last night was fun. went to the mount washington tavern with mike and halfadozen of his male friends, one of which proposed to me using a straw tied into the shape of a ring. i didn't feel the least bit uncomfortable surrounded by all that testosterone, either. in fact, it was kinda nice. they bought me drinks, we sang cheesy bar songs, and i heard story after story after story about mike and his college days. i'm learning a lot. i could have lived without knowing some of it, but whatever. minor details. :)

i haven't mentioned this yet, but starbucks is really annoying me these days. it seems like it gets more and more corporate every day. i know you're all thinking "yeah, that's a shocker", but really it just doesn't seem like the same place anymore to me and i've only worked there a little over a year. we have to wear nametags now. we're putting customer's names on their drinks to "personalize" them, so when we call orders, it takes longer and tends to bother everyone involved. it's just a nuisance. oh, and our district manager is no longer allowing original artwork to be displayed in our store. every thing on the walls must be corporately approved. you have no idea how mad that makes me, especially considering we have this one super nice guy who comes in every single day who is a wonderful photographer who can no longer display his work anymore. they asked him to take his pictures down because they didn't have traditional frames around them and he couldn't afford to have them framed. ugggh! don't get me started. i just hate that this company is losing some of the special unique little nuances that make up the essential parts of a coffee shop. i hate the strict "only collared shirts" dress code. i hate that the corporate office tells us what to write on our chalkboards. i hate that things have become so commerical and so cookie-cutter. i do, however, still LOVE the white mocha. that will never ever change...not even in a zillion years.

i've been feeling very blah this week. it must be the transition of the seasons or some crapola like that. i've been extremely tired, kinda nauseous, and runny at the nose. i've been coming home from work the past few days and hopping right into bed. (ok, maybe not exactly hopping. i don't have enough energy for that.)

oh, and i've also been oddly hungry. usually when i'm under the weather, the last thing i think about is food. but not this time around. i blame it on mark at work. he's been running out for take-out lunches and getting me stuff. i ate a kick-ass omelette today from bagel works with sausage links. i was craving the grease.

so, i'm taking a mini-vacation in a couple weeks with mike. we are heading up north to maine to visit his best girl friend from high school and her fiance. they just bought a house in portland and we'll be staying with them for a couple nights, then on the way home, we're going to stop off and spend some time in connecticut by ourselves. we're thinking about staying in some fancy inn/hotel or a bed & breakfast type place. we'll see. either way, i'm really looking forward to this trip...mostly because it will give me a chance to travel with someone who i love spending time with. i can't believe that we're taking a 12 hour road trip and we've only been together a little over a month. kinda nuts, but it's something we both really want to do. he desperately needs to get away from his stressful job for a while, and i just want to spend some quality time with him. plus, the surroundings should be beautiful. afterall, it is new england in the fall...

on a sidenote, the garden state soundtrack rocks. i'm really getting into the shins now, and that frou frou song "let go" rocks my socks off. i absolutely LOVE it. for those of you who are confused, that's the song used in the preview commercial.

guess who i'll be seeing in concert for the 3rd time on october 14th? MATT NATHANSON! yeah, i'm really excited. and the cool thing is the show is at my sister's college so i get the tickets cheap AND i will able to get up real close to the stage. we're planning on going about 2 hours ahead of time to prepare. oh yes. we just saw gavin degraw this past weekend at her school and it was really fun. gavin is really talented, but i don't think he has the best attitude. i sense a whole lot of conceit and shittiness. despite all that though, he did do an astounding cover of "tracks of my tears" and "sexual healing/let's get it on". man, did he get the ladies riled up...

ok, that's it. time to get back in bed.

writing prompt: How do you feel when you are by yourself?

i think that everyone needs to have their own private corner of the world where they can be and think and do whatever it is that they feel like. while i am by no means a hermit or a closed-off personality, i do crave alone-time--time where it is me and only my voices that matter. i've always been a friend to myself. there really hasn't ever been a time when i've been alone and really needed anyone to entertain or occupy the void i existed in. i think i like myself enough to be alone. i'm not afraid of what i'm thinking and i'm not afraid who i am in life's quiet moments. the thoughts streaming through my consciousness, as diverse as they may be, are never something that i'm afraid to indulge in or listen to.

i feel accepted when i'm alone. i feel content and understood. i feel safe and protected by the strength of my character. i like to dive headfirst into the parts of myself that i know i can't when i'm around other people in certain environments. i feel stable. sometimes, i feel stagnant and non-progressive. i'm overly critical of myself but not ever to a self-destructive point. i feel free to think about whatever is in the back of my brain. i like not having to talk. i feel like i don't owe anyone anything and that all that matters is what i'm thinking at the moment. i cry openly. i dance around my personal space, completely free of worry and utterly unafraid of embarrassment. i run races in my head and either come out of it energized or completely exhausted. i think about what i have, what i want, and what inspires me to continue being me. i like my drive to work for all these reasons and because it is my one time when i'm forced to exist in this box, focused on a destination, yet familiar enough with it that my mind can wander outside the car a bit; the existentialist in me loves that. i like being alone because it's when i feel completely whole...totally able to analyze and reflect on every part of myself in a cushioned space where time doesn't tick quite as fast.

guess what i did today! i rode on a motorcycle for the first time! it was great!
(i screamed like a little girl the entire time.)

it appears i am in that stage of a blossoming relationship where i am willing to sacrifice hours of much needed, yummy sleep to hang out late and cuddle. i mean, it's at the point now where i'm just being a complete idiot. like last night, for instance. knowing full well that i had to get up at 5:15 this morning, i planned on leaving mike's apartment no later than 11:30. what time did i actually leave? 12:15. i use the word plan very, very loosely. needless to say, i paid my dues today. i was hurtin' at work, man. completely, utterly tired. but i guess it's all for a good cause!

lots of stuff going on. i'm off from work all weekend. saturday, i'm meeting mike's entire family at this big bbq event at his aunt's house. then sunday is his cousin's wedding, which should be fun if not merely because it means i get to dress up. i told him that part of me is a little anxious about meeting everyone at once, but that comes and goes. i've just never dated anyone that was so anxious for me to meet everyone important in his life. it's really quite flattering. it's cute how he sends people from his work over to see me. (his clinic is literally 1 minute walking distance from starbucks, by the way) so we know the same people. his drug addicted patients come over to load up on caffeine and his fellow counselors come in to de-stress, so it's all good. haha.

sometimes i just cannot believe that we work and live and move around in such close proximity. i mean, i can't believe that we didn't meet sooner. besides almost hitting each other in the parking lot one day, there are lots of other uncanny "coincidences" that we keep discovering--all of which make us think a lot about the un-randomness of life. the more we talk about ourselves and our pasts and our interests, the smaller the world seems. for example, check this out. when i was looking around his room this past weekend, he showed me a prom picture of him and his best girl friend from highschool. the second i saw it, i got all excited and started jumping up and down like a dork because i know her. she was my brother's first real crush and used to come over my house all the time almost 10 years ago. how WEIRD is that? we both completely flipped out. he called her the other day and told her about everything and we're going to visit her in maine this fall. i still can't get over it.

oh, and my mother knows his other best friend already. she's been talking to her for months now at the mall, never knowing until last week that she was one of mike's best friends. eerie, i tell you.

he brought me flowers at work the other night. *smiles*. miniature pink roses. that's never happened before.

i fear i'm becoming annoyingly mushy. so i shall stop...for now, anyway. ;)