i will never, not in a million trillion years, ever understand this.

i feel pressured for an update. i admit, however, that i'm glad you are checking up on me...

i'm pretty tired right now and it feels like i've been moving non-stop this entire week so far. saundra took the day off, so i was responsible for all the kids today--a first for me. i've been the main teacher for half the day before, but never the entire day, from start to finish. it's funny how i used to worry so much about that, dread the day that i'd have to bear the brunt of the responsibility and work. it scared me because it overwhelmed me, pushing my brain into overdrive where i did nothing but anticipate potential problems. now, though, i feel extremely comfortable at work and in my position in the classroom and it isn't even the sort of thing that causes anxiety anymore. managing the entire group is (dare i say) easy now. i'm so glad about that.

i've been thinking a lot about babies. it seems they are everywhere and motherhood is the theme these days. of course i'm not nearly ready, but it's a lovely topic that occupies my brain occasionally. why would i want a baby after teaching 24 children all day, five days a week? because they aren't MINE, that's why. i've always been kind of posessive like that. plus i'm so curious what mike and my kids will look like. judging from our baby pictures, the combination of genes should be wonderous. :)

that's all i've got at the moment. so deal.

i finally got my act together and created an album from our trip to myrtle beach last summer. to be fair, i didn't take a lot of these pictures because a) i was uncomfortably hot for most of the trip and, therefore, miserable and b) i was sort of ill. neither of these circumstances are really that conducive for proper picture-taking. anyway. so there you have it.

oh, and check out the updated random snapshots album. funny pictures from this year's st. patrick's day festivities. (yes, i notice the photos are blurry. but since we were all rather intoxicated, it's quite fitting.)

ah, st. patrick's day. the day of green and beer. i jokingly say this is my own personal holiday because afterall my name is erin (meaning ireland) and hello, i look very irish. but let's not forget that disregarding my love for potatoes, i am a sad excuse for an irishperson. exibit a: i'm down for the count after a mere 3 drinks usually. then you'll typically find me somewhere in the corner, sleeping on whatever available couch/sofa i'm lucky enough to find. yes, this is pathetic. i'm aware. anyway, tonight i'm venturing out on the town with friends and without mike, since he's made the (absolutely insane) decision to go skiing at deep creek. he loves to ski and in case you've had a memory lapse, i really do not. in fact, just the mention of it leads to vividly horrible flashbacks and occasional twitching.

never. again. ever. *deep breath*

most of my week off has been quite unproductive. other than skimming through wedding magazines, watching a few movies, and lounging around like a sucker, i've been rather bored. there are downsides to staying home while everyone else is at work. the sleeping-in is definitely the best part, but other than that it kind of sucks. remind me of this though, when i go back to work next week kicking and screaming. i'm such an ingrate.

speaking of movies, i finally signed up for netflix. thank you again, brian, for the gift because now i am in love with it. my queue keeps growing because everytime i browse through movies, i start jumping from link to link and find myself introduced to all these independent films and documentaries that i've never heard of. i'm such a sucker for cross-referencing. but really, the site is so well organized! it totally pulls you in and before you know it, you're signed up for 50 movies (most of which you've never heard of) but you trust will be just as great as the synopsis makes them appear. for some odd reason, most of the films i ordered have jake gyllenhaal in them. it's gotten to the point now where i don't even have to look up how to spell his name anymore because i'm so used to seeing it in credits. i suppose i just like his cinematic choices. we watched donnie darko the other night and were completely blown away by how extremely confusing it is. jake did a nice job, though...naturally.

on a sidenote, i find this whole to-eat-or-not-to-eat-cornbeef-on-st.patrick's-day debate to be somewhat silly. everyone's making such a big deal about it, and i don't really understand. granted, i'm not a practicing catholic (not a practicing anything, actually) and i think the idea of lent is silly. but putting that aside for the moment, i think it's lame that those people that do participate in lent can't just skip the cornbeef this year because the holiday happens to be on friday. the fact that they need permission from the representatives of the church before they eat anything is just kind of sad. and what's this talk about the catholics making an exception to the rule this year? what ever happened to sticking to the rules and really sacrificing the one thing you're supposed to give up? i know i've never practiced this and never will, but atleast i respect the idea of it and don't look for loopholes. oh, and i can make my own decisions without needing approval from any church. but that's a whole different discussion entirely.

i teach kindergarten. maybe i could work here.

i know i'm not supposed to play favorites. as a teacher, i'm fully aware that doing so can cause potential harm and skew my focus on the class as a whole. but i have to admit, i just can't help it.

this is samantha, or sam, or sammie as she is sometimes referred to by her parents and myself. as you can clearly see from the photograph, she is heart-breakingly adorable and trust me when i tell you she has a personality to match. simply put, i adore the child.

sam is a pint size little thing with this mass of untamed curls atop her tiny little head. she's 3, almost 4, and can hold her own in the classroom. incredibly independant, she marches around the room--often in her clunky purple snow boots--fearless and eager to learn. she's very playful; loves the playdoh and creating various art projects from tiny shards of paper and macaroni. she's ALWAYS singing, which is why i dubbed her my "hollaback girl" upon discovering her singing the popular song one day while coloring. i almost lost it, it was so adorable. for those of you taking notes, sam also likes the band maroon 5, which i've grown accustomed to hearing in the carpool line most mornings.

sam and i typically work closely together--or rather i should say one of us is always following the other around the room. right now, we're working on sounds; she's already mastered a, b, m, s, and t and we're moving on from there. she's very intelligent especially considering her age, and she's contantly telling me very detailed stories about her older sister, cousins, and animals. she particularly likes frogs and doesn't mind in the least if one pees all over her. she just giggles and carries on, loving the experience and being the free spirit that she is. sam basically embodies all that being a little girl is. she is the personification of childhood.

to see more photos of the other (also adorable) students in my class, click here or the link on the right. there is currently one picture missing (the sweet british lad, oscar) due to technical difficulties, but i'll add it eventually. for now though, enjoy the cutest 23 faces you've probably seen in a while.

just got home about a 1/2 hour ago from dinner with michelle (mike's cousin). this is the first time i've spent quality time one-on-one with a member of mike's family. i consider myself very fortunate because i love every member of his immediate and extended family, and that's a great thing because there are so damn many of them. i joke with him that 75% of the people at our reception will be from his side, but it's pretty much the truth. essentially, they are a big group of irish-catholics composed of clusters of aunts, uncles, cousins and close-knit family friends that may as well be blood relatives. to attempt a family tree would be quite a feat, especially because there are so many honorary family members and in-laws like myself. anyway...michelle, in all her graphic-design-major-glory, is helping to design some sort of logo/emblem for our invitations and ceremony programs. i have a very loose idea of what i want and we're in the very preliminary stages of the process of course, but it's nice to know that she's so eager to help. she's quite talented and we share a similar aesthetic view, so i'm really excited. in fact, just talking about any wedding plans gets me all worked up because there's so much to say at this point, especially with all these ideas floating around and not much nailed down. but i love feedback and suggestions. let me clarify: i love them to an extent. i'm open to ideas, but we have to be on the same general wavelength. otherwise, just keep your remarks to yourself, thank you.

i plan on working on wedding themes and such next week when i'm off for spring break. it will be nice to sit down and just casually research wedding ideas--something i haven't really had the time to do with all the craziness going on lately. i really like being all settled here in the apartment. like tonight, for instance. i loved coming home to an empty house (empty because mike is out; not because we have no furniture) and knowing the space was partly mine now. i've realized that moving here was more than just moving in with someone; it was equally as significant because i feel like i'm living alone for the first time too. i say that because i spend plenty of time by myself here, despite the close quarters. and since i get up earlier than mike and usually arrive home before him, it feels like i live here alone sometimes. i like being responsible for myself and living here completely on my own terms. i can't explain it any other way than to say i love how it feels to come home.

the season finale of project runway is tonight. i've followed this show the entire season and as mike will attest, watched each episode many times over in re-runs. suffice to say, i'm completely hooked. now that it's almost over, i need to find some other show to replace it. the problem is most every other reality show is ridiculous and lacks any sort of creativity; it's all just recycled crap. project runway on the other hand...pure genius. there's talent, there's humor, there's drama and suspense. and it's all happening within the confines of this fantastic fashion studio where the contestants are under strict deadlines! oh my god, how are you all not watching this show?! i'm telling you, it's fascinating. the runway walk-offs alone are worth tuning in to.

(does it bother anyone that i ended the above sentence in a preposition? i always thought that particular grammatical rule was weird because sometimes it just sounds better to end a sentence like that. but then again, some of the best writers base their entire careers on breaking every single grammatical rule in the book. so whatever. nevermind.)

newly discovered site that you may find interesting. my word was weapon. here is what poured out:

my tongue is my weapon
sharp silver and cutting
lashing out, slicing away at your self-righteousness
i nail you to the wall, direct in my attack
cold syllables and metal sentences cut deep
flat against the boards, deflated
and i cannot help but smile because you had it coming

i've decided i want a goldfish. why, i cannot exactly pinpoint. all i know is that seeing a single fish swimming around in a bowl with colorful gravel at the bottom and maybe a little foliage appeals to me. i've mentioned the idea to mike but he doesn't seem that enthused. i'll have to work on that because i think it might be fun sharing the responsibility of a pet. even if it is just a fish.

so last saturday during my entirely too long perusal of the world wide web, i came across the awesomely cool website, flickr.com and now have become certifiably fascinated by it. i'm sure that, like with everything else, i'm the last person to hear about it and you are already aware of how addictive it is. anyway, you can upload your own digital photos and browse thousands of cataloged ones and it's just so interesting. for people like myself who really enjoy looking and studying photography, you can't beat this site. stock.xchg is another great photo site worthy of exploration so when you have time on your hands, i strongly suggest taking a look. the fish picture above came from there and i plan on using others in the future to coordinate with my blog entries.

i added my blog to a blogring called blog expl*sion in the hopes of getting it more exposure. i'm trying to make an effort to publish more and get back into writing about more than just mundane daily activities. i feel like i have plenty going on in my life right now that could lead to interesting topics. if only i didn't have to work and do those mundane things, then i could really maximize my writing time and use this web space for its original intent--to write entertaining and insightful posts that people actually look forward to reading.

while we're on the topic of readership, i feel like i have none. i think only a small handful of you actually check up on me regularly and while that's discouraging, i can't say i blame you. i'm not all that interesting these days and my posts are anything but regular. i fear i've become boringly domestic and have nothing to talk about. that has to change before i'm completely drained of every creative impulse. so your job is not to let that happen! stay on top of me in terms of updates. leave me comments, emails, IM's or whatever if that's what it takes. don't allow me to slack off. encourage me to be the best blogger i can be. i'd appreciate it.