1. What did you do in 2005 that you'd never done before?
i got a "real" job with regular hours and benefits...one that makes me feel good about myself. i also got engaged--never done that before!
2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
if i recall correctly, i vowed to be more proactive last year and to be less hard on myself and my goals for the future. i think i've done those things and progressed in a lot of ways since last year. i don't really have any resolutions for 2006 yet.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
nope.
4. Did anyone close to you die?
pat kelly, a friend of our family, passed away. fortunately, that was the only funeral i attended all year.
5. What countries did you visit?
zero, though i wish i could say otherwise. all my travelling was within the u.s. this year.
6. What would you like to have in 2006 that you lacked in 2005?
a house to share with mike. and i will!
7. What date from 2005 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
the two events that are the most memorable are also polar opposites on the emotional scale: when my dad told my mom he wanted a divorce and when i got engaged. it's really weird how life pans out sometimes.
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
getting my job at montessori. i feel like i'm in a good place there.
9. What was your biggest failure?
i don't really think i failed at anything this year. of course, i may not have attempted that much either...
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
if you want to call excruciatingly unpredictable stomach discomfort causing a complete fear of eating and loss of appetite an illness, then yes. crohn's disease, anyone?
11. What was the best thing you bought?
i really can't think of one particular thing that would be the best. i'm lame.
12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
my sister, for working her tail off in college and getting accepted into the education program at TSU. go tigers.
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
my dad's.
14. Where did most of your money go?
same place it always goes...food, gas, bills. so NOT exciting.
15. What events did you get really, really, really excited about?
i was really excited to go to maine over the summer. our trip was wonderful, so all the excitment paid off. and currently, i'm REALLY, REALLY, REALLY excited about my upcoming wedding. but we have a ways to go until that happens. ;)
16. What song will always remind you of 2005?
"hollaback girl". come on, i don't care who you are. you know the words.
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
Thinner or fatter? thinner.
Richer or poorer? well, "rich" is a very relative term...but i'm about the same.
Happier or sadder? a little bit of both actually.
18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
i can't think of anything. i did enough to satisfy me, i guess.
19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
internalizing my emotions and worries until they blew up in my face.
20. How did you spend Christmas?
scattered between houses. xmas eve with my dad; xmas breakfast with my future mother-in-law; mid-day with my mom; xmas afternoon with mike's extended family; and xmas dinner with my mom, brother, and sister. it was a lot.
21. Who did you spend the most time on the phone with?
no one. i hate phones.
22. Did you fall in love in 2005?
absolutely. luckily, it's with the same person i'm marrying. ;)
23. How many one-night stands?
um....hmmm...i think none.
24. What was your favourite TV program?
i have a few: scrubs, family guy, project runway, the tyra banks show.
25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
no. and i still hate the people i hated last year.
26. What was the best book you read?
"she's come undone". brilliant.
27. What was your greatest musical discovery or rediscovery?
i have to go with beck here. "guero" is my favorite album of the year, i'd say. i like others, but i spent most of my time listening to this.
28. What did you want and get?
a nice job, a fiance, and a plan for the future. all of it is quite thrilling.
29. What did you want and not get?
a family with all its pieces glued back together.
30. What were your favorite films of this year?
in her shoes, 40 year old virgin, the aristocrats, march of the penguins, crash.
31.What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
i turned 24. mike and i celebrated our birthdays together, since we're 2 days apart. his mom took us out to dinner and we exchanged gifts. i don't remember much else.
32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
if my parents were still together.
33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2005?
fitted jeans mixed with bold colors and a sprinkle of pretty accessories. wow, that sounds gay!
34. What kept you sane?
michael boehm.
35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most/least?
i very much fancy zach braff and my love for him grows daily. i very much detest paris hilton, and my hatred of her grows daily.
36. What political issue stirred you the most?
i wasn't really 'stirred' by anything. i've started paying more attention to the political climate and i'm forming more concrete opinions about issues, but i'm still not someone who gets into deep political discussions. bottom line, i think all politicians lie. it's such a chore trying to sort through all the crap.
37. Whom did you miss?
various friends who i've lost consistent contact with while i've been so busy.
38. Who was the best new person you met?
it's difficult to choose between the kids in my class. there are a few who have made me smile a whole lot and who i'm grateful to know and teach.
39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2005:
"If we don't change, we don't grow. If we don't grow, we are not really living. Growth demands a temporary surrender of security." (Gail Sheehy)
does anyone still check up on me anymore? i know i don't write as frequently. that sort of saddens me. i'm thinking that if i start reading more, i'll want to write more. i just need to make the time. brian bought me
this book for christmas and i can't wait to delve into it. it's pretty thick and hearty, just the way i like my books. i'm currently reading
what dreams may come and like it a lot. i think when i watch the movie again it will have even more of an impact than it did the first time.
my laptop is slowly dying. unlike the last time this happened, i see it coming and so i'm preparing myself for the loss. i guess it's about damn time i get a new one anyway since i've had this one for 4 years now. wait, has it been 5? no way. 4. ok. still, i'm thinking that a new one would be good and could spark my writing back up again. it's sad that i need new technology to do that.
the time off from school has been nice. it's passed quickly, as i've spent nearly most of my days shopping...something i never really get to do. it's been nice. i'm so redundant.
i can't stand how boring i sound right now. i swear, i've been really busy and in good spirits as of late. i just don't have the right rhythm for writing anymore. i feel flat. i think i spend more time talking about how i'm feeling these days, so i don't feel compelled to pour it out in writing. that's really a lame excuse though, so nevermind.
ug. maybe i'll try again later.
had the kind of day where it felt great being where i am. it was our class holiday party...so along with food, adorable children, glowing parents, and other various festivities, there was this warm feeling in the air. it's that thing that you can't really describe or forcibly create but can only hope to experience during this time of year. it's hard to capture that most of the time, and sometimes i feel like i'm going through the motions. but it's really nice when you're not, and you genuinely are surrounded by warmth.
my kids are so adorable. i love that i refer to them as "mine" now, seeing as it's been several months and i've grown quite attached to them. i think for a while i over-thought my job, my role in their little lives. for months i was so serious about doing well, doing what i was 'supposed' to, that i neglected to focus on the simple fact that they are 3, 4, and 5 year old kids who get pleasure from the simplest things. i think over the past month or so i've made more of a concerted effort to connect with them on more basic levels, taking the time to talk with them about what's important
to them...even if it's not related to school. i feel like i'm doing my job better now that i've eased up on myself a bit and learned to laugh about it. i spend 80% of my day having conversations with children; that's humbling and really wonderful. i feel more at ease, more in control, and more influential. it's really nice.
i was given some nice gifts from the parents. the class as a whole gave me a $100 american express gift check; got a handful of bookstore gift cards; a gift certificate to a spa; some really cozy gloves; and a few nice tree ornaments. parents approached me all morning and thanked me for being so great with their kids, for affecting them in whatever way. i've never had such a good feeling because of what i do before. i may be underpaid and still a bit inexperienced, but i'm learning more about children and how i relate to them every day and i feel valuable. i'm still wrapping my head around that, but i like it. i also
really like talking to parents about their kids. i know i've mentioned that before but it's in those moments of conversation when i feel the most integral. i'm this liason between them and their children. i'm interpreting their child's progress and growth and noticing in them the work of their parents. it's really a beautifully cyclical thing.
