home alone on a sunday afternoon, coughing my ass off and downing tussin like it's water. i hate head colds and icky sickness. i especially hate that it makes me disgruntled and energy-less. it's beautiful outside and all i want to do is veg, watch the tele, and sleep. i don't feel as guilty as i could though because we got a great deal of stuff done yesterday. for example, this is our cute new kitchen table and here is our new comforter set. we also bought a sage green living room set--consisting of a sofa, oversized chair and ottoman--but i can't seem to track down a picture of that online. damn internet.

anyway, we've made much progress. we're so anxious to get into the house, that we just can't help buying some things in the mean time. i was completely obsessed with finding a bed set because i knew we couldn't paint the bedroom until we (meaning me) determined a color scheme. i searched and searched for probably a total of 4 hours in every store, both online and in person, that carried bed-in-a-bag or comforter sets and was beyond discouraged. there was absolutely nothing i liked, and i'm usually pretty flexible. but then again, i knew that i wouldn't settle for just any pattern, knowing that i'd have to live with my decision for a while. everything i did like either didn't come in king size, was out of my price range, or didn't come in a complete set, which i really wanted. this lead to much screaming and cursing, of which mike can attest. i'm just glad i finally found something i like (and that mike will eventually like once he sees what i can do with it!) and now we can buy paint. i'm thinking green for the bedroom. more on that later.

i'm slowly gaining a whole new vocabulary since researching household items. duvet. sham. coverlet. drapery panel. slip cover. oh, and this is just the beginning. i'm so tired of looking at bedspreads, i could scream.

and in case you forgot, i'm getting married next year. i cannot even begin to think about wedding plans right now. i figure once we move in and get the house in order, i'll get back to that. we have so much going on in the next year, what will we think about after june '07? maybe then we'll finally be able to sit back and enjoy everything.

there are now pictures! i know it's hard to get a complete idea of the house from these photos, but they're better than nothing. plus, you will be invited over to see it eventually anyway. or better yet, you'll get a good look when you help us move in on june 10th. all volunteers are welcome and pancakes/donuts/coffee/beer/pizza/whatever the hell you want will be provided. i am clearly not above bribery.

...we bought a house! (i know, i can't believe it either.)

the short version of the story is that we started looking on monday with our realtor, fell in love with the third townhouse we saw, couldn't sleep for two nights because it's all we thought about, went back on thursday to look at it again (along with a few other houses), decided we wanted it that night and so we made an offer. the seller's agent called back less than 24 hrs. later and told us they would sign the contract and now here we are. waiting. sitting around all giddy and excited, waiting anxiously until may 31st for the settlement. we cannot believe how easy this process was. i am especially shocked by it because i was convinced that i'd be so picky and unwilling to settle for just any average house, that it would take us months until we found something. boy, was i wrong. 3 days people. 3 frickin' days and i was sold.

needless to say, we are thrilled. yes, the thought of spending the majority of my hard earned savings on the initial deposit and closing costs frightened the hell out of me at first. there were some tears and brief moments of disbelief, but i know that it's worth it. we're investing in something that grows in value and we're buying something that we've always wanted. plus, we're doing it together; that's really the best part of all of it. i'm really looking forward to making this place our own. i'm seeing it as a team project, something that will take a while to complete, but will reflect our personalities and our life together. ugh, listen to me. my sugarery sweet optimism is even making me cringe. nah, not really. i'm too excited to cringe!

we went out to dinner tonight to celebrate and then afterwards, we drove to the house and just sat outside staring at it for about 10 minutes. in retrospect, it was a silly thing to do, but at the same time we just couldn't resist. we've already talked about several things we want to do inside and my mind is overloaded with all the creative possibilities. one of the happiest days of my life will be when i get the go-ahead to roam free inside target's home section with only my imagination to hinder me. we saw this house vacant and ever since i first laid eyes on it, i've imagined what i'd buy to fill it. i finally have my blank canvas.

more details later. i'm too tired and too jumpy to write more.

so i finally watched brokeback mountain. i had been asking around to see if anyone in my circle would want to see it with me, and since no one really did, i ordered it from netflix and watched it alone today after work. needless to say, i was pretty curious about it; after hearing both the positive and negative hype surrounding it, i decided i needed to see it once and for all and determine my own opinion, rather than letting the media and other speculating individuals affect my view. for that reason, it was nice watching it alone, without any noisy contributions or commentary.

overall, i enjoyed it. i must admit, however, that because of all the hype i'd heard, i spent the first 20 minutes of the movie just waiting for "it" to happen...you know, all the man action. then, once i got pulled deeper into the story and into the tension between each of the characters, i got over all that and empathized with them. i'd be lying if i said it wasn't a little jarring seeing the two lead actors go at it so aggressively and then gradually ease into a tender relationship; it most certainly was at first. but once, as a viewer, i accepted the fact that these two people were in a physical relationship, it allowed me to plant myself firmly inside their heads, where ultimately, most of the film takes place. this is such an internal, introspective film. with the exception of a few verbal outburts, there is very little dialogue throughout and the story is told mostly through subtle non-verbal communication. because of this, an incredible sense of tension is built and it's almost as if the words coming out of everyone's mouths are forcing their way out. so much is said between the lines. so much is said by not saying anything. at times, watching heath ledger's character is torturous; he is such a sad, lonely, and scared man who you end up pitying the most by the end credits.

i found that the supplemental bonus features enhanced my enjoyment of the film. i especially enjoyed the section on ang lee and his style of direction. quite a bit of what he said resonated with me and i think he did an excellent job exploring the internal struggles of being in love.

it's strange that i started off watching the film feeling kind of cynical and skeptical of it, then felt ambivalent toward it--wondering if the movie would be as popular if it weren't centered around a gay relationship--then really being drawn into it, and by the end, feeling really very sad. i had no idea it would be so heartwrenching and that i'd want to talk about it afterwards. i more or less chalked it up to a sweet love story, not even considering the impact it would have. the film wasn't perfect by any means and i agree with it not winning best film at the oscars. but i will say that it makes you think and really tugs at your heartstrings...if you're into that sort of thing.

ugh. exhausted doesn't even begin to describe me right now. it has been too long of a week. the kids have been all riled up for some unknown reason and it has been more challenging than usual to maintain them in any given space. i'm worn out. i was thinking on my drive into work today about how no one really understands the intricacies of your job (i.e. difficulties) unless they've tried it before. i'm sure that each of us has a list of things about our jobs that annoy us, and we'd swear up and down that no one could do it without feeling completely wiped out by the end of day. so i will resist implying that my job as a kindergarten teacher is somehow more difficult than the average job. but i can't promise i don't feel that way sometimes.

mike and i went to opening day on monday! baseball is offically back and that excites me. we spend so much of our free time in the summer on baseball--either at the stadium or just watching on t.v.--so it's nice to have our mutual hobby back. of course, mike is a bit more obsessed with baseball than i am; it's pretty much his life if you want to know the truth. for those of you who haven't already checked out his column, you really should. it's updated every day--sometimes twice--and is consistently chock full of information that most people wouldn't have the time to dig up or the patience to delve into. he's a wonderful writer and you can tell that he really loves doing it. he has developed quite a fan-base too, which impresses the hell out of me. how many people can say they have loyal fans awaiting their opinion on a given topic? not many. plus, i like that people appreciate his talent as much as i do. well, almost as much anyway.

i've been rather disappointed by the independant films i've ordered from netflix. so far, most of them have been blah, boring, and neither here nor there. i'd honestly rather a movie be flat out horrible than just mediocre. the least a film could do is suck with some integrity, like this movie. you know, really own its suckiness. i've never been a fan of apathy.

i finished AHWOSG last week and now i'm finally on to a different book. i attempted to explain my sadness at completing the amazing novel to mike, but i don't think he quite understands. i don't even know if i understand me, really. it's just that i'm always kind of melancholy when i finally finish reading a book that i really loved. once i begin reading, it takes me a little while to figure out the book's rhythm and pacing and it can take even longer before i hear the author's voice in the writing. and then after all the elements have come together and i really start investing myself in the characters and the story, i'm fully immersed in the denouement and then it's all over. bah. i wish good books could go on forever. that way, we could check in with the characters whenever we wanted without ever worrying that our one-sided relationship with them would end.