now that i finally finished organizing the photos from our maine trip, i can write about it. i didn't realize exactly how many pictures we took until i sat down to condense them. oh my word, we were busy little photographers. but it's easy when everywhere you look offers the picture perfect backdrop. i've never been to a place where you can't take a bad picture. i'm serious. you could have an old, crappy camera...or have no photography experience...or even be completely blind with one arm and still take an amazing picture in rangeley; i'm convinced. take a look for yourselves at the album on the right. for now, here's a preview:


we had a really wonderful and relaxing weekend. the drives up and back were excruciatingly long (there were unpaved dirt roads and horrific new york drivers involved, but don't ask) however we still managed to make the most of our four days. katie and justin's wedding, which was the reason we travelled up north in the first place, was absolutely amazing. the pictures can't even begin to describe how romantic, elegant, and special the occasion truly was...but i tried. most of the time i was fumbling with my camera and crying. i just couldn't believe how everything came together, how remarkably simple yet genuine the day was, how the mood and the weather and the details were just perfect. everything was personal and intimate and sincere, from the vows, to the setting, to the guest list. it was, quite simply, the ideal wedding. a bride couldn't have asked for anything more.

the rest of the weekend was spent exploring rangeley, doing other things like canoeing and eating out. it just so happened that the humidity there dropped the night we arrived and rose again the morning we left. so our time there was glorious and perfect for walking around and doing nothing in particular. i wasn't exactly thrilled at the idea of canoeing initially, but once we got out on the water and started paddling, i loved it. everything was so calm and still, nothing but the air and sky all around us. i had not a care in the world for close to an hour.

we ate breakfast at this tiny diner across from our inn. the place was simple but very welcoming and offered delicious food at a fairly cheap price. everything was just so small-town about it...from the waitress, to the menu, to the predictability of every interaction. i loved how cozy it felt; how safe it appeared. we walked the street, passing members of the wedding party and other visitors and everything seemed so quaint. afterall, everything was right there: a bar, a couple restaurants, a post office, a gas station. i got a glimpse of what it might be like to live in a small town like that. i could never do it for more than a weekend but it was nice in its own quiet way.

driving home was really the most miserable part because mike accidentally (i use that word because he would never do this intentionally) drove into manhattan during rushhour. it was bad, my friends. between the actual traffic and being stuck in the car with a hater-of-everything-yankee, i was holding on for dear life. but we made it out...over an hour later. oh how i hate city driving.

i could write more i suppose but i really hate racking my brain for memories that can't really be accurately described without sounding trite. you just had to be there for the most part. i mean, how do you describe a clear blue sky and how it made you feel? or seeing children dance with their grandfather at a reception? or the look on a groom's face when he sees his bride walking down the aisle toward him? i saw so much this weekend and the only word i can use to describe all of it is emotional. everything we did or saw or experienced evoked something noteworthy and sharply particular within me. it might make me a lazy writer for chalking it all up to that, but i just can't say much more.

it's thursday night and i'm pretty tired. but that's a good thing because i have to get up at some ungodly hour tomorrow morning (3am-ish?) for our trip to maine. and i thought getting up to open at starbucks was ridiculous. this should be fun. 12 hours in the car with mike and a weekend in one of the very northern corners of the united states. i'm looking forward to getting away.

also, the official countdown has begun. only 3 more weeks of coffee hell. start dusting off your party hats.

be back on monday night, suckas.

1. Show your favorite digital photograph here. (This should be one that you, yourself have taken.)

2. What is your motto?
i could try and try but i could never express my motto better than this quote does:
"Be kind. Remember every one you meet is fighting a battle; everybody's lonesome."--Marion Parker

3. If you could meet any two people (living or dead), who would they be, and why?
alanis morissette, because no other artist is more aligned with my own thought process and emotions or can express them so clearly. she has a such a sincere connection with her audience and i admire her genuine interest in humankind. i'd also want to meet herb ritz, so he could take my picture.

4. For the next 5 minutes, type whatever comes into your mind. The idea is to type without stopping, without editing, with complete abandon.
i'm really mad right now because this is the second time i've answered this question. for some reason, my laptop kicked me offline and so i'm doing this entire survey thing over again. don't ask me why. a normal person would just move on and not waste more time, but i am not the average person. i'm not even following the rules anyway, because i'm going back and editing my misspelled words. i guess that makes me anal or something. the word 'anal' always sounds dirty to me. but it really just describes me because i pay such close attention to detail. now i'm writing all this while having a small-talk conversation with my mom at the same time. i'm amazed that i can do that, even though i shouldn't be. i'm good at doing multiple things at a time. i learned most of that from work. i have to muli-task there all the time, though i won't have to much longer because i'm finally leaving. i still have 2 minutes left of this writing exercise. the clock in the corner of my windows start-up menu tells me so. i don't know what else to say. i'm really tired but i can't sleep when it's sunny out. it's too bright and i feel like i'm wasting my time. but aren't we all wasting time doing whatever it is that we do anyway?

5. What do you want to be most remembered for?
for being a compassionate and genuine person who gave all i had to offer in any given situation or to any person in need. for putting all of myself into things and never taking for granted what i've been given. for being open to receiving, with every breath i take.

6. If you wrote a book, what would the first (or last) line be?
"there's a lot to be said for someone whose sole purpose in life is searching for the most creative way to die."

7. If you were King (and/or) Queen for a day, describe your first proclamation.
i would give everyone in my queendom a month off from work, a one-way ticket to a foeign country, and $5000 for travel expenses. their mission would be to immerse themselves in a different culture and study it so they could report back how it affected them on a personal level. i would consider it a study in human interaction and humanitarianism.

8. If you could change one thing about yourself, or your situation, what would it be?
i would own my own home where everything inside it was created and/or bought with my own personality in mind. i would live independantly and spend my time not worrying that every desicion i make might be the wrong one.

9. There's no genie, but you've been granted three wishes.
one, for my own comfortable home with plenty of time and funds to decorate it.
two, for all my friends and family to live the life they were intended, without regret or remorse.
three, for a cute little puppy to keep me company and love me when i feel unloveable.

10. Last trip "out of town" you took, and when...
i guess the last trip i took was to ocean city in june. it was just a day trip, but it allowed me to get away from here for a little while. i'm actually leaving for maine this weekend and that certainly won't be a short trip. i'll be in the car for a total of 24 hours, there and back.

11. Find a word in the dictionary that you never knew before and post the definition to it here:
twaddle (n): foolish, empty talk or writing; nonsense.

12. What is the most daring thing you've ever done?
i believe the most daring thing anyone can do is allow someone else to get close to them to the point where that person understands their uncensored vulnerabilites and emotions. at the risk of sounding trite, investing yourself in someone else knowing that they could potentially break your heart is pretty brave. some would call this falling in love. i've done that, so that's my answer.

13. Name something positively amazing (besides your birth) that happened the year you were born.
on december 28, 1981 the first test-tube baby was born!

14. Name your favorite Beatle.
i am by no means a beatles expert so i don't really have a favorite beatle. if i lied and said paul mccartney, i'd just be jumping on the bandwagon. and i won't have any part of that.

15. In 250 words (or less), answer me this: If money were not an object, and you were to leave tomorrow to travel around the world in 100 days, name your preferred method of travel and at least a dozen destinations you'd visit.
i would want to travel the world by a combination of train, car, sailboat, and hot air balloon. as for destinations, i'd want to see africa, ireland, scotland, switzerland, australia, the french riviera, italy, figi, alaska, iceland, canada, and the the rest of the united states that i haven't seen.

16. Name of the last book you read, and list your favorite passage from said book:
the last book i actually completed was a non-fiction book called "the quarterlife crisis", about the challenges that 20-somethings face trying to figure out their lives. sadly, nothing really profound stands out to me from it other than being reassured over and over that i am not alone in my state-of-mind. i wish i had more to say about it but it was pretty much a letdown.

17. Last funny thing a child said to you.
olivia (the little girl my sister babysits) while looking at a human anatomy book and seeing a picture of the human skeleton: "he dead." oh my god, you had to be there, but she was so serious it was hysterical.

18. Put down one stanza from your favorite song lyric, one that has particular meaning to you, one that, had you thought of it first, would have written yourself.
i have always loved these lyrics from the third eye blind song, "motorcycle drive-by". i kind of see myself in this girl he's describing:
Visions of you on a motorcycle drive by,
The cigarette ash flies in your eyes, And you don't mind,
you smile,
And say the world doesn't fit with you.
I don't believe you, You're so serene.
Careening through the universe, Your axis on a tilt, You're guiltless and free,
I hope you take a piece of me with you...

19. Put down your favorite movie line.
it's more of a movie soliloquy actually...
"It was one of those days when it's a minute away from snowing and there's this electricity in the air, you can almost hear it. And this bag was, like, dancing with me. Like a little kid begging me to play with it. For fifteen minutes. And that's the day I knew there was this entire life behind things and this incredibly benevolent force that wanted me to know there was no reason to be afraid, ever. Video's a poor excuse, I know. But it helps me remember... and I need to remember. Sometimes there's so much beauty in the world I feel like I can't take it, like my heart's going to cave in." (American Beauty)

20. Name the actor or actress you'd want to portray you in a movie based on your life.
jennifer connelly. we look enough alike that it would work i think.

21. Professionally speaking, if you could do anything at all, what would you do?
this is always a tough one. today i'm feeling the music video director dream. yeah, i bet that would kick ass.

i've changed the look of this page a bit, just for kicks. i decided rather than fiddling around with an entirely new template (and in the process, causing myself hours of frustration and unnecessary mental anguish--believe me, i've done it before), that i would simply alter the color scheme. i think i like it. atleast for now anyway. blue seems to be the color i'm most drawn to so i figure why fight it.

while driving to work the other day, i was thinking about the albums i own that are quintessentially "summer" albums. basically, i was thinking about the ones that i tend to gravitate toward during sunny warm days and i realized that i have quite a handful of them. i'm not sure whether they have any one cohesive quality in common, but they very well might. i just haven't thought that hard about it. anyway, here's my list:

beck/guero: this has consistently been my favorite album to listen to since i bought it in april. i'm actually quite obsessed with it. it's definitely the best album i've bought so far this year and it may even be my favorite beck album all together. he just keeps getting better.

chris isaak/baja sessions: i popped this in my cd player yesterday after having not listened to it in years and was so happy i did. it's really such a refreshing album...and by that i mean it's so peaceful and relaxing. most of the songs are accompanied by banjo, slide guitar, ukulele, and bongo drum. the entire album feels like a vacation; it's amazingly cohesive and has such a defined tone.

incubus/morning view: maybe it's the album cover art, but this record just reminds me of the beach. and those guys in the band are total surfers, so the summer vibe is very apparent. great songs here...my favorites being "are you in?" and "warning".

third eye blind/blue: this record will forever remind me of my trip to hawaii several years ago. i listened to it while i lounged by the pool, overlooking the pacific ocean. that was a very good time. and yes, i still think 3eb is a great band that, unfortunately, died out.

dave matthews band/stand up: let me preface this by saying that pretty much ANY dmb album (with the exception of everyday) makes a good summer soundtrack. but this new album has something about it that seems particularly fresh. "dream girl", to me, sounds like the ideal music for a hot summer afternoon, cruising in the car. i could listen to that in the depths of winter and feel warm i think.

jason mraz/waiting for my rocket to come: i bought this album the summer i started working at starbucks and everytime i hear it, i'm reminded of that time in my life. i was nervous starting a new job, but i met some of the most wonderfully fun people that summer. "sleep all day" in particular makes me think of all that.

louque/so long: few people have heard of this band, but when i think of them, i remember a hot night last may when i was crammed in a tight bar/nightclub in fells point watching them perform for the first time. they are this incredible fusion of funk/blues/r&b/bluegrass/rock. they are really unique and perfect summer evening music. this album makes me want to dance and laugh with my friends.

i think those are the main ones. i'm sure i'll add more to my playlist in the coming years but for now, these will get me through. can't wait to bring them along to myrtle beach in august.

it's funny, i think about potential blog topics all the time. when something occurs to me, no matter how mundane, i think i really should write this down so i remember it later. sadly, i never do. then, when i'm finally in front of my computer late in the day, i'm clueless. and, i fear, quite trite. i groan at the notion of being trite.

someone came into work today that i used to know about a year ago. we stopped talking after my ex and i broke up, but the point is, we haven't seen each other in a while. it baffles me that the first thing out of her mouth was, "geez erin. you've lost a ton of weight." ugh. i'm so sick of hearing that from random people. yes, i know you haven't seen me in a while so it seems more drastic but really, it's not that big a deal. i got my ass in gear and got in shape, that's it. i don't understand why people feel the need to point it out, especially in the manner that they do. would people walk up to an overweight person and say, "man, you've gained a ton in the last year!" no, they wouldn't. because that's not socially acceptable. the point is, it makes me self-conscious. i don't know why. i guess i read more into than i should. either way, it makes me uncomfortable, so stop it. that goes for you.

i'm bored with my CD collection yet again. help me. anyone.

things are winding down at work. i'm out of there in just about 3 weeks. the sucky part is that shifts longer than 6 hours are practically unbearable for me because i've gotten so complacent. i'm bored to death with everything and everyone there. i've started telling some of my favorite customers that i'm leaving, to which a couple of them replied, "no! you can't!"...making me feel simulaneously flattered and mad. did these people really think that my life ambition was to pull espresso shots? sorry but i am not here solely to make coffee for you every morning. anyway, i will miss certain things (mainly the free food and drinks) but overall, i'm completely and thoroughly DONE. it will be nice to pop in now and again as a customer though. i will forever empathize with the barista behind the counter.

i have a few things i need to do in the next month to prepare for my new job. i must get a physical examination, have my fingerprints taken, and figure out my medical insurance coverage for the month i won't have any. yes, these are simple things but nonetheless they are things i need to do in-between my already busy schedule. i think i need some sort of day planner.

i finally saw amelie for the first time last week with john. i cannot believe i didn't see this film earlier. it completely blew my mind, both visually and thematically, and i am purchasing it ASAP. you all should watch it and rejoice in the meaning of it. it will make you happy that you're alive, if nothing else. and that's a whole heck of a lot. definitely worth the price of a dvd rental.

[speaking of my friend john, he turns 24 today. happy birthday mr. martyr. your party yesterday was quite nice and it's wonderful seeing you so happy around your friends.]

as usual, john had a specific request for the people attending his birthday party. this year, he wanted everyone to take "suicides" of themselves and then bring the prints along so the rest of the group could see their unique and personal artistic vision. in case you don't know, a suicide is a picture taken in a reflective surface, whereby the photographer is "shooting" himself and thus, the camera is present within the picture. i really liked this idea and wish that i had taken more time to take better pictures of myself. a couple of mine turned out nicely, but i wish i had gotten them printed on matte paper, rather than glossy. everyone else who did that had much better results. oh and it would have been nice if i had used my manual instead of my automatic and cared more about the lighting. but it's too late for all that now, isn't it?! i'm sure i'll experiment with suicides again eventually though and that they'll turn out a whole lot better.

tonight will be spent doing absolutely nothing important. i want to read some, rest some, and eat some...and then go to bed some. i need the rest. my thoughts run in circles inside my head and bedtime is my only refuge. well, that and dessert. i can't forget about the dessert...